Tag Archives: A.D.D.

How Far Outside The Box Should I Be Thinking?

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. After 6 months of exhaustive job seeking, you realize that something about your approach, style, or whatever needs to change because…whatever you’re doing? Yeah, it isn’t working.

The problem in this realization is that there’s nothing specific that leaps at you, flamboyantly screaming, “change me!” The other problem is that this is maybe the 10th time you’ve had this realization.

See, it doesn’t take long before you realize you’re not getting any leads, responses, interviews, etc. Around your 2nd month in, you’ll start to be a little more creative, do a little more research, but – let’s face it – you’re still pretty cocky at this point. I mean, Rome wasn’t built in a day, amirite?

The 3rd and 4th months, respectively, are a little more humbling. By now your level of research is intensive, you’ve changed your resume, tweaked your cover letter, read countless articles on what you should or shouldn’t be doing, but you still have hope. There’s that special job out there that’s meant for just me, right?

Approaching the 6th month mark of the unemployment beast you’re in such a state of heightened paranoia that you’re almost hesitant to submit your resume anywhere. You start having “strategy” sessions with close friends or family to see if there are opportunities somewhere that you might have overlooked and all the while Jack Bauer’s fucking clock is counting down in the background – DUNDUN! DUNDUN!

You’ve run out of the creative and eloquent responses to employer questions and, in your head, are sounding a lot more flippant and sarcastic. It’s a lot harder to refrain from the brute honesty of telling a company you really want to work for them because time is running out and I swear I won’t fuck this up if you just give me a chance.

Some job profiles require you to list skills that you have, how many years experience in each skills, and whether you consider yourself at a beginner, intermediate, advanced, or expert level in said skill. They never have drop down options for these – they’re just supposed to all come from you. I know they want these to be job related, but it’s just so damned tempting to include skills like “Tea Making: Level Expert” or “80s Sitcom Theme Songs: Level Advanced”. I feel like these are a more accurate portrayal of who I am.

Of course, I try to tailor these to the job description, but sometimes you’re at a loss. Just today I applied for a data entry position that required “good hand/eye coordination”….how does one test for this? Should I tell them I can pat my head and rub my tummy at the same time? Does that count? If so, what level would this be considered – beginner, intermediate, or advanced?

Ah it’s all fun and games until someone gets evicted – which is a very real possibility come July that is too frightening for me to dwell on. But everything has a way of working itself out, everything happens for a reason, it ain’t over til the fat lady sings, yada yada yada…. I’m sure that the 21 job searches I have saved across 7 different job boards (including my state’s Department of Workforce Services) will turn up something for me soon, right? ….RIGHT?!

I just think that if you change who you are too many times that eventually you’ll lose sight of who you were meant to be.

We Have Some Lovely Parting Gifts For You

Posted in Job Hunting by

Eventually there will a come a point in your job search where you begin to wonder if you’ll ever see a light at the end of the tunnel. The tedium of hours of work filling out various job seeker profiles on countless websites, then their job applications, then adding a tailored resume and cover letter does take its toll. The anxiety increases, your sleep and wake hours are all out of whack, suddenly you’re able to relate to the depression medication commercials on TV (“Depression hurts“)… everything just plain sucks. This is when you need the equivalent of a good swift kick in the ass to jolt you back into reality (If you’re wanting a literal swift kick in the ass, this blog can’t help you).

Since my last blog post (sorry for the long lapse, faithful readers), I was going through the psychological “Ick” (I believe that’s the technical term) that I described above. As I’m now writing a blog post, you’re safe and correct in assuming that I received a figurative swift kick in the ass.

It started with a flight back home to surprise my mother for Mother’s Day by showing up on her doorstep unannounced (stay with me on this). It was a whirlwind trip with my arrival Saturday afternoon, May 10th, and a departing flight late Monday evening, May 12th, but it was well worth it for the look on my mother’s face and the tears of joy that followed. But I digress… over the course of my visit, my mom wanted to know what my “game plan” was for getting my shit together. Only my mom (or Dad) could issue a figurative swift kick in the ass with the two words “game plan”.

Ok, so let me explain this one. I was blessed to have 2 very unique parents in that my mom has a stronger connection with her inner 5-year old than anyone I know and my dad has severe A.D.D. which means that both of my parents like to make things FUN! If I’m having a day where I just can’t convince myself to get my lazy ass out of bed, my mom’s advice is “sometimes we have to be 6” which is just funny enough to get me laughing, nodding in agreement, and begrudgingly get my ass out of bed. Once, I was working a job from home answering Live Chat questions and was struggling with multitasking. Here my dad came to the rescue and advised that I accept the challenge as a game. At the time, my game obsession was with Rock Band – so I made a playlist on my iPod of all the songs I would typically play whenever I played the game. Sure enough, my productivity doubled and I was soon the star of the team (personal thanks to Iron Maiden for “Run to the Hills” which was particularly helpful with the afternoon slump).

So when my mom was asking what my “game plan” was – she wasn’t necessarily asking me what steps I was going to take to ensure my future was secure so much as she was asking how I was going to turn this task around and make it FUN! 

I haven’t worked out all the details yet (more to come) but I’ve begun with the dreaded task of looking at what I like to call the “Thanks, but No Thanks” emails from places I’ve applied/interviewed. These are the emails where they let you know they had so many applicants, you’re pretty good, but just not good enough, etc. Each view of my inbox is now a new game show. Cue dramatic theme music as the inbox loads, perhaps the Jeopardy theme song plays while I decide which email to open, while that email loads I’ll chant “big money, big money, no whammies, no whammies!”, and then the entire audience groans in sympathy with me when we find out that the email says “Thanks, but No Thanks”. At the end of the show (i.e. when all of those emails have been opened) the “fun” game show theme music is back, the host is thanking me and the audience is clapping wildly just as the host says, “We have some lovely parting gifts for you” and I play a Facebook game until my 5 lives are gone – as a reward for bravely facing the emails. Once the 5 lives are gone, it’s time to be 6 and go back to the job search drawing board.

Have any of you come up with creative ways to make the job search more fun? Share below!