Here’s the thing about me – I am good at approximately eleventy-billion random things. This makes me highly valuable to every individual I come across and is my blessing as well as my curse.

Need some exercises to stretch your lower back? No problem! Last-minute hair dye dilemma? I got you, sister! Transcribing work notes so you don’t fall behind? Hey, I type 90 words per minute. Eleventh-hour PowerPoint to narrow down the topic for your dissertation? Google is my Bitch. Creating a GoFundMe page to raise awareness and money for your cancer treatments? I’m all over it. Directions to the nearest Starbucks? Hell, Starbucks should have been my middle name! Identifying symptoms of hypoglycemia? Yep, I’m there too.

These are just the things I’ve helped with in the last 24 hours!

By now you’re probably asking yourself where the “curse” comes into play. Well, here’s my problem: job hunting.

At 36-years old I have quite the employment background. I’ve been a file clerk, payment processor, data entry clerk, specimen processing technician, fast food worker, Trust distributions officer, medical receptionist, purchasing assistant, and customer service representative (just to name a few). I’ve worked in call centers for eBay, CapitalOne, Verizon Wireless, AOL, and Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield… oh, and I’ve assisted customers/members via e-mail, phone, and live chat. To say I’ve been around the block is a gross understatement.

In case you don’t quite see the problem yet, or you’ve been out of the job hunting scene for a while, let me break it down for you by showing you some questions I’ve been asked on public profile sites such as LinkedIn:

• “Desired industry”
• “Desired job title”
• “What kind of job are you looking for”

See the problem now? There is no way (that I’ve been able to think of) to take this “Jill-of-all-trades” knowledge and experience and crunch it down into one neat little industry/title/job package.

Society doesn’t make it easy for people who can do a little bit of everything and have the kind of employment history that I do. We’re assigned labels such as “lazy”, “poor work ethic”, and/or “A.D.D.”.

****WARNING:  Mini-Rant****

Do you have any idea how many people, in just the last 3 months, have tried to convince me to get on disability for my Fibromyalgia? But, see, to me that feels like I’m throwing in the towel, that I’m saying that at age 36 I can no longer contribute to society. That’s just not who I am or what I’m about. I refuse to roll over and play dead. I know there’s a job out there for me somewhere and I’m going to be awesome at it. So do not call me “lazy”. If I were lazy I would have given up years ago.

/rant

     This is why I am the Queen of Call Centers. Because sometimes it’s just “easier” to stick with what you know and what you’re good at than try to swim upstream and convince job interviewers that it’s ok I don’t have the majority of my experience in one area, I’m Wonder Woman and I’ll catch on faster than any other employee. No, really. Just give me a chance.

The reality of the situation is that I’ve been unemployed for three months because I’ve been swimming upstream. I don’t want to go back to another call center. I want to do something more meaningful and engaging than call center metrics allow. I’m just trying to find the company that will give me a chance.

I’d have to say that my dream job is one that would let me chain-smoke, drink coffee, surf the Internet, and use my versatile knowledge to help random people all day. Until then, I’ll accept something that pays.

❤ Steph